4.7.26

white leftists love being landlords any hate towards landlords is a veiled jealousy they can’t conceive of not having that kind of power over other people / not wielding it when they have it

thinking about the nighthawk (bird) .. what a flat creature. thinking about magnolias .. sad that most died in that frost ………. wanted to pickle some!!!! maybe will make some spruce tip syrup again this spring .. yum

1.7.26

ocd sucks so fucking much because i keep rewriting and rewriting this because every iteration has a million things that will confirm that i’m evil to myself and everyone and it’s like it’s trying to isolate me. i can’t even talk about it without it interfering. i know that i’m evil it makes me so sick to my stomach i want my soul to be obliterated and tortured for eternity

i bought a gallon of thai ice coffee today also

12.27.25

am i doing this right? i’m on my phone. i wonder if people on here who i know in real life will be able to guess who i am. not gonna say it yet. life has been strange in very boring ways. kind of same old same old. kind of same new? new young same old different then different but then always the same. went to dinner with my siblings and we all talked about being gay and genderweird out loud for the first time together so that was really nice. my sister takes the brunt of everything because she’s the only one who actually officially came out to them so me and my other sister are planning to drop that on them this winter and see how that goes. i’ve been on my phone a loooot as per usual. i feel confused about who i even am anymore due to the content i consume. i feel like a big bag of stomach acid hungry and ready to dissolve anything into waste. how could a baby grow in me. by a baby i mean a poem, a book, a life. i miss making. i am gonna get a jelly star phone soon. this will help. so many things and nothing to say. goodbye!